Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

When I was in Weight Watchers, I lived by a set of guidelines for survival. People typically don't end up in Weight Watchers unless they're food addicts, and that is definitely the case with me. Yet after years living on the WW program, there are a number of lessons I've learned that I can apply to life in general. One being: if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

Words to live by.

The latter, and the subject of this post, is not a rhymy catchphrase. It's likewise the one most people have the hardest time doing.

People make plans. Sometimes those plans fail. Rather than beat yourself up over what you did in place of what you should've done, the only productive thing to do is accept you failed, buck up, dust yourself off, forgive yourself, and move on.

Last year I set out to complete three manuscripts. That was my resolution. Finish Know Thine Enemy, start and finish Sinfully Scandalous, and complete the work that became Elevated Exposure. I did a good job, and I even tossed in a short story or two for nothing. A Friend In Need was pounded out in less than a month. I had no idea that would happen, even when I decided to do NaNo for the first time. I exceeded my own expectations, and with a heartful of optimism, I took the accomplishments of 2011 and decided to at least match that in 2012.

It's May. Next month will mark the midway point through the year. That's right. 2012 is almost halfway over. And what have I accomplished that I set out to accomplish?

If you answered a big fat load of nothing, congrats, you guessed correctly.

That's not to say I've coasted. Contrary, I've had a very busy spring. I got married two weeks ago (thus my husband-in-name, as he's been for years, became my husband-in-name-AND-on-paper!) and it was a big shebang. Honestly, I should have expected it as my mother's only daughter. I'm not the girliest girl, though, and I guess I thought I could get all my shit done in a timely manner. I thought with editing (and I've taken on several freelance jobs), and writing when I could, I, the great multi-tasker, could just show up to my wedding and see what happened.

Stop laughing. It’s not nice.

Obviously, that didn’t go as planned. But I did get stuff done. A modest amount of work has been completed. I'm about halfway through Sinners and Saints, Book 3, according to my word count estimate. I have plans for the revamp of Possession and all that, and half a dozen other ideas. But I must admit, when it comes down to what I personally love working on, the Sinners and Saints series is hands down the winner. I love the universe, I love the characters, I love the mythology – I am unabashedly infatuated with my own work, as I think all authors should be. And though modest, the series has gained a handful of fans.

Yet for the first time, I am completely self-aware of myself, the words, and the flow as I write the story. I wrote Sinfully Scandalous on a high mostly, never dreaming it'd actually get published. It was too different, had too many controversial themes, and wouldn't be received well by those who read the first. And yes, I did receive a few quiet comments about the content, but overall, it was received well. But unlike Lost Wages of Sin, I did little to no promotion. I tweeted, posted excerpts, gave away a few copies, and even now I have no idea how well it did, aside from the less-than-encouraging numbers on novelrank.com.

Now, I don't write for money. I write for me. I publish for the cash, sure, but the overall awesome feeling that is having my name on a book that is read and enjoyed by at least more one more person than my best friend and my mother is worth most of the blood, sweat, and tears. Yet with LWoS, something in me changed. I really loved the book, and I loved the thought of starting a series, and I loved the thought of others loving the series. I spared no expense, purchasing bookmarks, paying for multiple print copies, cover art, and so on. I didn't spend a ton, but I don't have tons of expendable income, which made it all the more disheartening when my first check didn't even begin to cover what I'd forked over.

I work a full-time job, a part-time job with editing, and whatever time I have left over is either spent socializing, relaxing, or sleeping. Because as much fun as I find writing, that doesn't take away from the fact that it's work. In some fashion, it's work, and it takes effort. If I spend eight hours a day at work and another three editing, whatever time I have left over is, ideally, spent writing. More realistically, though, I'm cuddled on the sofa with Aaron watching whatever TV show we're catching up on. If I'm in the groove, getting x amount of words committed to paper doesn't take much. If I'm not, I can waste hours trying to force my way inside before giving up and going to bed angry and frustrated with myself.

At the end of the day, though, the thing I enjoy writing the most is a series that I spent more money promoting than I gained in sales. I love writing it, I do, but a writer's head is never quiet. To get into the zone, I have to shut up the crowd of naysayers that takes up the peanut gallery inside my noggin. With Sinfully Scandalous, this took no effort, and I think a part of that was on some level, never expected it to be published.

All this to say, I desperately need to turn this motherfucker around and find the road I was on before I peeled off the exit. I have excuses, and many are legitimate, but what I really need is to quiet the peanut gallery, gather my bearings, and return to basics. Basics might mean writing new stuff for a while – new new stuff. If I’ve learned anything, it is I will come back to those things that are important to me. Know Thine Enemy took almost three years to write, because I wrote the first 15k, hit a wall, and then didn’t come back to finish the rest until I’d pretty much forgotten what I was doing in the first place. I don’t think it’ll take quite that much time to find my way back on track, but until then, I can’t promise to work on Flip Side of Sin. To those who like the series, and chastised me for waiting a year between the first and second book, all I can do is beg your patience and understanding. When I’m not writing, I’m not the best me I can be, and right now I’m not writing. I hate not writing.

It’s time for me to accept I’m likely not going to meet the goal I set out for myself in December 2011, which also means I need to stop beating myself up over what I did in place of what I should've done, accept I’m human, buck up, dust myself off, forgive myself, and move on. Goals, schmoals. This isn’t a race. I’ll get there when I get there.

Until then, I can't push it.

Just a quick question...

Do people read blurbs anymore? Recently, I've seen several reviews for books that complain about things that were clearly advertised in the work.

Blurbs aren't easy to write, people. They're pretty awful, actually. Summarizing every nuance of a book, choosing between what plot points to mention and what to keep, and then writing a couple paragraphs in a way that both showcases your skill yet also ensnares readers. The market is saturated with a thousand other stories like the one you're selling, and you're expected to make yours stand out. Think that's hard? Every other author is doing the same thing.

Yeah. I hate blurbs. Most of my author buds do, too. So it's somewhat disconcerting when readers don't even bother glossing them over. Don't like menage? How about not buying a menage book. Not a fan of shifters? Maybe pay attention when the author starts discussing wolf packs. Skeeved by taboo subjects? Steer the fuck away.

These things are there for a reason, people. Are you allowed to not like a book because of a kink or theme? Of course. You're allowed to not like a book for any reason you see fit. But there's a reason I'm not rushing out to buy Fifty Shades. I have some idea what it's about, and I'm not interested.

I actually saw a review for an Ellora's Cave book complaining about the sex. As in, it was too descriptive. In an Ellora's Cave book.

If you're going to spend money on a book, you owe it to yourself to read up on what you're buying.

Hitting a wall

I can't write when I'm stressed. This is a pattern I've noticed over the past year or so...whenever something comes up, my anxiety disorder kicks in, and even if I refrain from my typical obsessive routine, it's hard for me to focus on my writing projects when I know a larger project looms.

The past month and a half or so, I've been hit with larger projects. Toward the end of August, I received a lengthy manuscript that needed some TLC. The author has the first round of edits, and I'm not sure when to expect her to fire them back. Then the move happened within a week (and even though we're moved and unpacked and settled, I keep having nightmares about it). Now I'm waiting for my editor to send me back edits for one of my upcoming releases, which has my anxiety spiked as well.

This, too, shall pass. I know it will. September was an incredibly busy month and we're barreling toward the holiday season, so it's no wonder everything's a little wonky. I also find I've been completely exhausted the last few days. I have accomplished a little writing, and while I know exactly what I need to have happen, a boulder sits between me and the characters; to get them to do something, I have to move the boulder first. The cursor's no help, either. It just sits there mocking me.

This isn't writer's block. I think it's writer's fatigue. And though not being able to write sucks, I know from experience it won't last. Once I wake up, I'll be back with a vengeance. I just hope it's soon...I have a NanoWriMo project I want to tackle.

Busy busy busy

Since April, my husband and I have been casually looking for a new place to live. Our apartment is sizable, but the neighbors are crackheads and the landlord is an asshole. Since our lease renewed in August automatically, we went month-to-month and began the search…which came to an end just over a week ago. We found a duplex for just $25 more in rent per month on a quiet street not too far from the apartment. Over the course of last week, we signed a lease, paid the deposit and prorated rent, boxed up all our stuff, and moved. My anxiety levels spiked a bit and I had a rough few days, but considering the place was discovered and the move was initiated in a matter of one week, we did a heck of a good job getting it complete.

This obviously means I’ve accomplished nothing in terms of writing. There are still boxes to unpack, but I finally feel like I can work on fiction rather than worry about the next stage, and the timing couldn’t be better. Know Thine Enemy debuts in less than a month from Noble Romance Publishing. I have edits on Sinfully Scandalous to look forward to, and Original Sin, a Sinners and Saints story featuring Lucifer, is a contender in ARe’s Just One Bite contest (voting to begin October 1). Also, Forbidden Fruit has been a #1 Best Seller at Noble Romance Publishing for two straight weeks now. All this to say, it’s not the best time to be away from the Interwebs, so I’ll try not to take a lengthy sabbatical. I like staying busy.

I like having projects.

On my to-read list is Aline Hunter’s latest release. As her CP, I have read Omega Mine, but it’s been a while. I do remember the story is amazing, so make sure you have it on your to-read list, as well.

That’s all from me for the time being. Easing back into my routine. It hasn’t been all that long, but with as busy as the past two weeks have been, it feels frantic.

New contract! Writing updates, and so forth.

I have signed a contract with Noble Romance Publishing for a Naughty Nibble entitled Forbidden Fruit. It's a tiny bit more taboo than my other fiction...well, depending on your definition of taboo. Sexual tension between step-siblings. Short, sweet, and sizzling just to whet your appetite.

In the meantime, I've been working on both Book 3 of the Sinners and Saints series (even if I don't yet know the fate of Book 2) and a short erotic contemporary. I've written so much paranormal over the past year, so the break back into a non-fantastical land is nice. Also, since it's aimed at just 20k, I feel like I'm getting a lot done.

Book 3 of S&S is coming along nicely. It's my first time writing from the POV of a male Sin, and I gotta say, he's rude, mean, snarky, and I think I love him. I am such a bad boy magnet.

Really, I'm just trying to follow my own advice as imparted over at Romancing the Muses. I rode a high after finishing two novel-length WIPs back-to-back, and now that they're complete and being considered for publication, the temptation is to ease into a small lull and take a break from writing. I don't want to do that; since writing LWoS last fall, I've been on a hot streak. Of course, there are days when it doesn't come easily or at all. In fact, I took a few weeks in May off from writing altogether, but when I got back to it I really got back, and determined not to let myself off the hook so easily. Once you stop it's hard to get going again, thus knowing this, I'm determined to get something written every day, even if it's just 500 words.

If all I can get done is some writing over my lunch period, that's fine. I just want to keep the momentum going.

I am not dead yet; I can dance and I can sing. I am not dead yet; I can do the Highland Fling

Well, my doctor was very patient and understanding (especially when I told him I was spiking), but suffice to say, I am not dying. He did say I have reactive hypoglycemia, which essentially means on occasion if I haven't had enough fiber, I'll start getting shaky after eating. Nothing to write home about.

Aaron suggested I start making a list.

Times I thought I was dying: 15 (conservative number, truthfully. I didn't keep count when I was little)
Times I died: 0

Might be a good idea. Take that, Louise.

In other news, I have closed three of the four giveaways, and the winners have been notified. If you're still interested in winning Lost Wages of Sin, you have a chance! The giveaway at Scorching Book Reviews is still open.

I'm in the process of editing a manuscript (and it's one I really like, which is excellent), and I wrote a few hundred words on Know Thine Enemy yesterday. One of my CPs has read the bulk of what I have on Sinfully Scandalous (Sinners and Saints #2) and has said she thinks it's better than Wages, which makes me nervous and happy and then nervous. Yikes.

Also - I am taking 10 print copies of Lost Wages of Sin with me to the Lori Foster retreat here in a couple weeks. I'll be selling them for $8, which is a little less (now that I've done the math) than I had to pay to get them printed. Anyone who plans on going and would like a copy can email me or leave a comment here, and I'll be sure to put one aside.

Think that's it for the moment. Oh, except Lost Wages of Sin is finally available on Kindle! Did I already mention that? Oh, bother, I'm doing it again.

On writing, or something like it

I definitely prefer the writing overload than a dry spell, but it's getting a little ridiculous. I'm pretty far into both my active WIPs -- the second book in the Sinners and Saints series, as well as my paranormal erotic romance. One of my currently stalled WIPs has started screaming at me for attention.

I'm at a good point in both my active WIPs. They might actually be finished and sent out at the same time. Plus with Lost Wages of Sin coming out soon, 2011 is starting off pretty well.

So, what are you doing in June?

'Cause I'm going to a bitchin' party!

Along with JA Saare and Madelyn Ford, I'll be attending the Lori Foster Reader and Author Get Together! This will be my first convention of any sort, and seriously, time could not move fast enough. By then, I'm hoping Lost Wages of Sin will be available. In the meantime, I will post some excerpts and interludes. Check back soon!

Today, I'm visiting Scarlett Parrish's blog and discussing OCD. If you get a chance, drop on by.

Status report

Well, I had a very good weekend, but it wasn't particularly restful. My best friend of 10 years and I ventured to Washington DC for Jon Stewart's March To Restore Sanity. The actual rally was too packed to watch, but I got to hear Ozzy play a bit of "Crazy Train" and listen to good parts of Stewart and Colbert's talks and banter. Whatever I missed will be covered by TiVo.

In the meantime, my friend and crit-partner, Jaime Saare, finished reading "Lost Wages of Sin," and I've both completed and edited my synopsis. I plan now to reread at least the first five chapters, but otherwise start preparing for submission. I've also begun plotting the next book in this series. I just can't help myself.

Today is my blogger day at Romancing the Muses. My topic: Stealing The Show: Writing People v. Writing Characters. Hope to see you there!

Vampires and Demons and Shifters, Oh My!

A part of me likes to believe I was into the whole "vampire" thing long before it became popular. A friend of mine sent me the first three books of the Sookie Stackhouse series before anyone had heard the term “True Blood,” and I devoured them before patiently waiting for the next one’s release. I had never really been one to purchase romance novels before then, and actually hadn’t imagined legitimate, royalty-paying publications printing the sort of raw, explicit, sexy material I enjoy reading. I first encountered erotica through the art of fan-fiction, and naively believed the realm of explicit fiction solely reserved for the Internet. It makes sense now, of course, years and many, many, many books later that the phrase “sex sells” applies to all media. Of course, I knew about romance novels, but I hadn’t thought the sexual encounters would be anything more than clever allusions to the act itself. And while this has been the case with a handful of authors, this misconception was at the blame of my own obliviousness until I started reading.

I’ve been a huge vampire buff for about ten years now, therefore I began devouring every vampire romance I could get my hands on. After Sookie Stackhouse, it was Lynsay Sands, Christine Feehan, Amanda Ashley, and Sherrilyn Kenyon. I’d spend hours in a bookstore, buying more novels than I could read. Even today, I have a healthy collection of books I haven’t cracked open. I tell myself I’ll get there eventually, but the stack keeps growing by the year. Point being, I loved a good paranormal. I’d read werewolves and demons on occasion, but vampires were my poison. It was actually around the time Twilight took the world by storm that my interest in the paranormal at last began to wane.

I’m not talking in terms of writing. I’ve written paranormal romance for so long that writing anything else seems strange and unpredictable to me. My world might change from project to project, but some staples remain the same. Yet over the past year, my reading library has expanded from strictly paranormal to mostly contemporary, with perhaps a paranormal title thrown in there out of habit. I likewise have entertained more contemporary ideas (one I’m very excited about) and even more I will likely never get around to writing. Still, when it comes to the sort of stories that motivate me in terms of creativity, it has monsters…more than likely vampires.

My current project is no exception. The main world-focus contains angels and demons, which is something I’ve never touched, but my hero is a vampire. This world will likely be expanded in further series, as I’ve fallen in love with the premise and have enough side-characters that their story, including Lucifer’s, will need to be told down the line. I plan to include shifters and other paranormal aspects the more it grows, but vampires have always been my first paranormal love, and paranormal heroes have always been my writing preference. There’s just something about a larger-than-life hero that gets my engine going.

Still, while my creativity seems to be led by the paranormal, I keep selecting contemporary romances for my bookshelf. I’ve published two to date, and have another in the works, and I do feel a sort of accomplishment upon drafting a new non-paranormal. I hope to expand my personal writings in that direction, as well.

At any rate, I definitely won’t be short for ideas anytime soon.

Writing report, contests, et al

First of all, my short story, Falling, has survived the first round of voting at ARe. If you get a chance, please drop by to cast your vote in round 2.

Secondly, I'm getting very close to completing one of my WIPs. I'm pretty excited about this one, as it's unlike anything I've ever written before and likely the first in a series. I've never written a series, or really aspired to write a series, thus I'm excited and nervous all at once. I hope to have it sent to my CP within a couple weeks and then will begin the submission process. Right now, I have my sights set on Samhain, though I'm really attracted to Noble Romance, as well. I want a place where paranormal romances perform well.

This story, tentatively titled "Lost Wages of Sin," is the story of Ava and Dante, and, as I said, likely the first in a series. It involves angels, demons, Heaven, Hell, vampires, rituals, and will eventually involve werewolves and other mystical creatures. I obviously have an affinity for vamps, but I've never broached anything like this in my paranormal writing. I'll post more updates as the story wraps to a close, as well as blog on its reception once I submit it.

It's been a crazy few days on the home front. Hope everyone's had a good weekend.

Writing status

I’ve completed two interviews in the past week and both have asked what I’m currently working on. It's a good question, but one I'm never really sure of how to answer. All the interviews I've given over the last few months have mentioned, in some way or another, the paranormal WIP I've been working on since February. It's been a struggle; I had a listless female protagonist, who was listless for a reason, granted, but she provided absolutely no drive or reason for me to come back…therefore I found myself apathetic, road-blocked, and incredibly frustrated. It wasn't until I participated in an author chat for one of my publishing houses that I decided the story was worth more than my original version of my protagonist and if it was to survive, I needed to man up and do some serious revising. Over the past month or so, I've completely rewritten the beginning of the book, adding in a prologue from my hero's POV and a new chapter featuring his first encounter with the heroine. It flows much better now, and it gave my character a voice whereas before she lacked depth.

I’m encouraged because I do truly care about this project and I’m not going to let the shaky beginning deter me from my goal. However, I’ve recently found myself bombarded with ideas for lighter stories that won’t take nearly as long to get out. Writing can be two things for me, and hardly ever at the same time: easy-peasy or “all work and no play.” Lately, it’s been the later. If I’m deeply invested in a project, I’ll obsess over it. After all, people with OCD are known for obsessing, and since I already obsess over everything under the sun, I have a tendency to stumble over sentences and self-edit as I write, which is something I know, I know, I know I shouldn’t do, but I find myself doing it anyway. No matter how many times I tell myself to worry about edits later, my brain doesn’t want to function that way, and since I care about this project, I don’t want my own neuroses to interfere with its progression. That’s where I believe lighter projects might help its progression. If I can get my mind out of the place where everything has to be “just so” and on a lighter, fluffier note, the blood might blow a bit easier, and I’ll have a real chance at tackling the story I really, really want to tell.

Anyone else out there have this problem? Please? Bueller? Bueller?

In other news, one of my interviews will go live soon. I’m thinking about doing a giveaway for those who comment on the blog it’ll appear on. Any takers? I’ll even take suggestions on what book to giveaway.

New review for Moving Target!

So, I know I haven't updated this thing in...oh, what time is it...two months, but I bring news!

Moving Target will be released on July 5th, and it has already received a rave review from Happily Ever After. Go check it out!!!

In other news, the past few weeks have been rather stressful, but ultimately with steps in the right direction. As of July 2, I will no longer be working at the bank. I'll also be working on my WIP (paranormal romance, though I'm tossing around some contemporary ideas). Writer's block has been lifted (it seems), and even though I'm still technically working for the bank for the next week and a half, the stress level has gone down considerably.

So, look to see me around a bit more. :)

Well...

I've had a fairly productive day. Being snowed in has its advantages.

- I found a pretty custom layout and made my blog look all purty, although possibly not easy on the eyes.
- I finally made myself an author website.
- I caved to peer pressure and joined Twitter
- I actually played with my Facebook page
- I have written over 700 words, and begun the first draft of a new novel.

All in all, I'd call today a success.

Hey, this is pretty cool....

Review of Firsts. It's a top-pick!

In other news...I'm editing something for a publisher, and a lot of the words I need to eliminate seem pretty...oh, what's the word...basic. I know the changes are needed and whatnot, and I can definitely see how these certain words overused, but I have to wonder...how many authors redefine their writing style upon entering the publishing world?

I've been editing straight for three weeks now. I hope I remember how to write once this is over...

I have submitted the line edits, or round 3 of edits, for my debut novella with Loose Id. Publication set for November.

Also, and this is exciting, I am officially "coming soon." Check this out! ... well, it's just a picture with my title and "Coming soon" next to it, but hey! That's pretty wicked. :D